Adults want to try to figure out how to censor it, monitor it and control it – all in the hopes of preventing youth from abusing it or getting hurt by it.

But Perri Klass put forth an intriguing idea in his recent New Youth Times piece “Seeing Social Media More as Portal Than as Pitfall.” He argues that maybe social media is neutral and it’s what is done with it that makes it hurtful or helpful. He goes on to write about how the current debate we are having about Internet and mobile technology is the same debate our parents had about TV.  And his main question was what if, instead of condemning it and trying to keep children and youth away from it, we used it to engage them further in educational and outreach efforts.

The reality is that teens have and are going to use the Internet and technology. Yes, they can be hurt when using it, but that’s not always the case. Technology is neutral. Like many things it can be used for both bad and good. So why not try and use it correctly instead of fighting it?

What if adults decided to use it to engage youth instead of just trying to protect and control?
What if adults talk with youth about the bad and the good parts of the Internet and new technologies?
What if adults allowed youth to use it as a tool to help themselves and others?

Based on this very idea, the Department of Health and Human Services, in partnership with the Department of Justice and the Office of the Vice President, held a contest called “Apps against Abuse.” In an effort to address teen dating violence, they asked for proposals for different applications for mobile phones to educate and help youth who are in questionable situations. Teens, parents, college students, and companies responded with hundreds of app ideas. These are the two winning applications:

• Circle of 6: This iPhone app makes it quick and easy to reach your circle of supporters and let them know where you are and what you need. It takes two touches on the screen to get help. The app uses text messaging to contact your circle, uses GPS to locate you when needed, connects to reputable domestic violence organizations, and asks contacts to take a pledge on Facebook to stop violence before it happens.

• On Watch: On Watch is an iPhone app that lets you transmit critical information by phone, email, text, and social media to your support network.  You can check in with friends, call 911 or campus police with two touches of a button. Users can also set countdown timers that send messages and GPS information automatically if events or activities don’t go according to plan, and connect to sexual assault, dating violence and domestic abuse hotlines.

This is just one example of how government and private organizations are taking something that is part of youths’ everyday lives and using it instead of controlling it. Below is a list of a variety of ways technology and the Internet are being used to engage, educate, and empower youth to know about and deal with teen dating violence in their schools, friendships and communities.

Media/Culture
Boston Score Card – http://www.td411.org/sound-relationships-nutritional-label.pdf
This resource shows that music can be a source of positive or negative energy. It shares how you can evaluate the “nutritional value” of your music to help have a positive influence on your relationships’ health.

Websites
TD4-1-1 APP and Website – http://www.td411.org/index-3.html
This site shares information about relationships – why some work and some don’t, how to read signs in a relationship, and how technology is used in relationships.

Online Privacy Safety Tips – http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/nnedv/onlineprivacysafetytipspdf.pdf
This is a guide to using the web safely and how to protect your privacy.

Technology and Teen Dating Violence – http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/technologytdv/technologytdv.html
This site provides tips on how to safely use technology and how to use it to protect yourself if you are a victim of abuse.

A High-Tech Twist on Abuse: Technology, Intimate Partner Stalking, and Advocacy http://www.mincava.umn.edu/documents/commissioned/stalkingandtech/stalkingandtech.html
This site shares background on technological stalking, what advocates can do to help survivors cope, and technology safety planning tips for survivors.

Apps
The Office of the Vice President and the White House Office of Science and Technology Request for Apps Against Abuse

• http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2011/11/01/announcing-winners-apps-against-abuse-technology-challenge This challenge called for entries for mobile technology that help prevent teen dating violence and connect teens to needed resources.

• http://appsagainstabuse.challenge.gov/submissions?page=1
  This is a link to the winners of the Apps Against Abuse challenge.

For Parents:

Love is Not Abuse http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/lina/id443740581?mt=8
The Love Is Not Abuse (LINA) application provides a rare insight for parents into what it feels like for their teen to be a victim of digital dating abuse.

For Teens:
TD411 http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/td411/id431593461?mt=8
This app brings awareness about teen dating violence & electronic victimization; it gives information about how to avoid abuse and in finding help when it’s needed.

With the issue of teen dating violence, campaigns and programs vary from national campaigns spotlighting the issue to local programs offering services to teens and their parents.

For the rest of the week, we’re going to highlight programs that have taken on the mission to shed light on teen dating violence and provide help to those touched by it.

First up, probably one of the most visible when discussing teen dating violence: Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Love is Not Abuse.

There’s no way to research teen dating violence on the Internet without finding information from Love is Not Abuse. Started as a way to give back to Liz Claiborne Inc.’s customers and the community, Love is Not Abuse targets numerous audiences with information and resources on domestic and teen dating violence.

The group has had numerous landmarks over the past 20 years, including:

2001: Sponsored a survey on teen dating violence, which revealed that almost two-thirds of parents who said they didn’t talk to their teen about dating violence said they would if they had more information on how to address it. To help, Liz Claiborne Inc. created a handbook for parents about dating violence awareness and education.

2002: The company assisted in promoting girlsallowed.org, a website for girls ages 11-14 to identify unhealthy relationships.

2005: A partnership with Break the Cycle and other domestic violence advocates led to the development of the Love is Not Abuse curriculum.

2006: With the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the company helped start and fund the first national teen dating violence hotline – Love is Respect.

2010: With the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the company launched a free online training course for educators about how best to teach classes on teen dating violence and abuse – Dating Matters: Understanding Teen Dating Violence

And their work continues. The group even has an iPhone app for parents, to take information with them on the go as well as a handbook for teens.

With its partners, Liz Claiborne Inc. is leading a grassroots movement to get teen dating violence taught in middle and high schools, engaging people to spread the word in their local communities.

The website has a TON of information and resources helpful to advocates, community groups, parents, educators and teens. Check out the rest of their website here.

And please share any programs addressing Teen Dating Violence you’re familiar with in the comments section below.

Stop a second and close your eyes.

Yes really –RIGHT THERE…

…right in your chair

…or on the sidewalk

…or on the train.

Wherever you are, stop a second and think:

When you hear the terms ‘domestic violence’ or ‘dating violence,’ what immediately comes to mind?

For most of us, the image of a bruised and battered woman or teenage girl as the victim of her male partner probably springs to mind. The problem with that is while advocating for female victims and focusing mostly on their needs, an entire group of victims has been ignored – the male victim.

 “In fact, a consistent but counterintuitive finding is that female adolescents inflict more physical violence than male adolescents, with female perpetration rates ranging from 28 percent to 33percent in contrast to male perpetration rates ranging from 11 percent to 20 percent” (ACT For Youth).

There could be many reasons for the large number stated in this study, such as the violence women might enact in self-defense, or because they’ve been hurt in the past – all of which we’ve mentioned before. However, the most important thing to note is the point that men are also at-risk, and most studies agree that the number of abusers in teen relationships is probably equal by gender. The stigma attached to boys reporting female on male violence is a problem that can lead to under reporting of that type of violence.

What we’re trying to say is this: Though teenage girls are at great risk for dating violence, so are boys. More needs to be said about the dual role that boys also play, as victims and abusers. Boys often practice learned behavior. They might come from violent homes, witness domestic violence, or come from a background that encourages aggressive male behavior. These factors can lead to them perpetuating violence in their relationships or opening them up to victimization by their partner. If we aren’t talking about how boys are affected overall then we’re just keeping up the cycle.

We just want everyone to remember the overall message, that anyone is at risk for teen dating violence and both genders can get caught up on either side of the problem, as victims or perpetrators.

To learn more about the different roles of boys and girls in TDV and where to go for help, please check out some of the following resources.

Dating Matters
This site shares some great discussion on the role that gender places in dating violence.

How aware are you?
This is a quiz that tests your knowledge about teen dating violence and awareness.

Can Guys Be Victims of Dating Violence?
This site talks about boys as victims and how people view the problem.

What Do Girls Face?

When you look at these posters what kinds of words or thoughts are going through your mind when you read about their situations on each red flag – sadness, fear, humiliation, jealousy, violence, pride, defiance, anger?

All girls could be experiencing violence; these pictures from the Red Flag Campaign show what kinds of situations they might be facing. Maybe they are being put down by a partner, pressured into sex, or even the one hurting their partner.  These girls show that anybody could be the victim – or even perpetrator – of emotional abuse, verbal manipulation, or physical violence. It’s important to understand this in order to get the overall picture of where girls fit into the issue of teen dating violence (TDV).

So where do they fit?

“Approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical,

emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that far exceeds victimization rates

for other types of violence affecting youth.”–Futures Without Violence

The above quote reiterates what we’ve already talked about earlier this week, that girls are the most at-risk and where they fall into the overall cycle of violence. But, the other point to reiterate is even though they are the biggest victims, the evidence shows that girls are also perpetrators of the violence.

A girl’s role in the cycle of violence often starts with the fact that many of them experience some kind of violence or abuse in either childhood or in past dating experiences. They’ve usually had to deal with a combination of verbal harassment or were even physically hurt and when they propel that behavior forward to future situations, they take their place in the cycle of violence.

The point overall is that girls are victims and contributors, just like boys, and until the cycle of abuse stops everyone has the potential to be a victim or an abuser.

But what can be done to stop the cycle?

The first step is to recognize the cycle. Breakthecycle.org shares a list of the most common signs of abuse, some of these include

1. Checking your cell phone or email without permission
2. Constant put-downs
3. Extreme jealousy or insecurity
4. Explosive temper
5. Physically hurting you in any way

After recognizing it, the next option is to take steps to stay safe and get help using a guide like A Teen’s Guide to Safety Planning.

Loveisrespect.org shares a great list of ways to get help, whether someone just needs to talk, wants support, or even resources on how to stop being abusive. You can also see our website for more helpful resources.

Dating violence is rough on girls, but there is hope no matter where you are in the cycle. For inspiration check out these stories of teen dating abuse survivors.

We opened the month in support of Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month, and this week we’d like to talk more about how teen dating violence affects girls and boys. Because “among adolescents aged 12 to 21, almost 3 in 10 have experienced violence in opposite-sex relationships,” and according to Womenshealth.gov “in the United States, teens and young women experience the highest rates of relationship violence. In fact, 1 in 10 female high-schoolers say they have been physically abused by a dating partner in the past year.”

The Cycle of Violence

Although teen dating violence is a problem itself, it is helpful to look at violence as a whole to better understand why, how, and when it happens. One way of looking at the subject of violence is through what is called the “cycle of violence,” which looks at the different phases of abuse. This cycle is about controlling another person within the boundaries of a relationship, and it can be physical, emotional, mental, or even financial.

The picture below, from the Lindsay Anne Burke Memorial Fund, shows the three stages that make up the cycle of abuse.

The Roles of TDV in Girls and Boys

Thought it is helpful to look at teen dating violence within the wider context of violence, it is also important to look at the particular aspects of teen dating violence. One of these aspects is the role of males and females as both the victims and perpetrators of dating violence.

We’ve already mentioned that girls have the highest risk for teen dating violence and are the most likely to experience the negative outcomes connected with TDV. Some of these outcomes can include issues like depression, substance abuse, poor self-esteem, and school problems.

According to Poco D. Kernsmith and Richard M. Tolman although girls are more likely to be physically hurt by a boy’s violence or by retaliation if they fight back, it is important to remember that boys can be hurt by a girl’s violent actions as well. They might also have to deal with negative outcomes in different ways than girls such as in reduced school performance, depression, and poor health. The risk of developing any one, or a combination, of these negative outcomes can harm the overall future and health of teenage girls and boys.

To find out more about the roles of boys and girls in TDV as both victims and doers of violence, check back later this week for more information and resources.

Resources:

Kernsmith and Tolman (2011). Attitudinal Correlates of Girls’ Use of Violence in Teen Dating Relationships. Violence Against Women 17: 500.

Reblogged from Justice For Life:

The Department of Justice’s Office for Victims of Crime (OVC) and the Bureau of Justice Assistance (BJA) provide the Anti-Human Trafficking Task Force Strategy and Operations E-Guide as a resource for both established and new Task Forces. The Guide is intended to assist in the development or reorganization of an anti-human trafficking Task Force and to provide fundamental guidance for effective Task Force operations. The Task Force concept used in this Guide is based upon the Department of Justice …

As the video above shows, love is many things…but it’s not abuse.

Educators, advocates and community groups will try to stress that point during this month’s Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.

The first Teen Dating Violence Awareness month was first recognized by Congress in 2010, an expansion of the awareness week, which started in 2006.

Defined as “the physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship, as well as stalking,” teen dating violence can occur in person or electronically, between a current or former boyfriend or girlfriend.

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2009 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, almost 10 percent of high school students reported being assaulted by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the 12 months before the survey.

And the consequences? From the CDC:

“As teens develop emotionally, they are heavily influenced by their relationship experiences. Unhealthy, abusive or violent relationships can cause short term and long term negative effects, or consequences to the developing teen.  Victims of teen dating violence are more likely to do poorly in school, and report binge drinking, suicide attempts, and physical fighting.  Victims may also carry the patterns of violence into future relationships.”

Catching and breaking the cycle of exposure to violence early to limit its impact on the future is important. The CDC’s 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey found that about one in five women and one in seven men who ever experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced partner violence between the ages of 11 and 17.

Stick with us throughout the month as we explore the issue of exposure to teen dating violence – what it is, its impact and what people are doing to stop it.

And head over to our website for an entire list of resources for parents, teens and advocates.

Reblogged from Justice For Life:

Why the ‘Johns’ aren’t getting prosecuted – Fox…, posted with vodpod Human trafficking is a global problem. But it’s quickly gaining local media attention as people learn how prevalent the problem is in cities such as Atlanta, Phoenix and New York, among others. Local law enforcement agencies say it is more challenging than ever to crack down on the ‘johns.’ “The issue with prosecuting buyers — or ‘johns’ as some people call them — typically they’re not known to the victim,” said Cobb …

See the Announcement here:

http://www.justice.gov/usao/nm/pr/2012/2012-01-23_task_force_examines_childrens_exposure_to_violence_pr.pdf

Reblogged from Bullying Stories:

Bruce Kugler, a contributing writer for USA Today wrote a very strong article on bullying titled “Bullying in USA: Are we defenseless?” In this straightforward article, Mr. Kugler brings up the latest victims of the bullying issue and asks the question to us all in his article title. What’s the answer? At one point in the article, his daughter, after he tells her of a recent tragedy tells him that “It’s Not Going To Get Better”, changing the current catch phase of the anti-bullying movement. It is a sad, …